Managing Life When You Can't Control it...
Man, it’s difficult when Life happens! You can be going about your business, living, caring for yourself and your family, making good choices, doing whatever it takes to take care of your environment, and directing your life. Things are going well, "I've got this; I kick @$$ at this life thing!!" Then Bam!! Something happens, derailing your routine, your sense of being in control, and your reactions to situations.
So what do I do to get through this?
The first essential, albeit difficult, thing to do, is to accept that this is life. This is part of the human experience. No matter how unfair it may feel. There are so many things that can happen that you don't have control over. Learning to accept the things that happen and believing that you will be able to get through this is so important. Remember, you have gotten through 100% of life's tough stuff so far.
Secondly, it is important to remember that this feeling of being derailed is temporary. You may feel off, foggy, exhausted, irritable, and not want to do anything. That's ok; you will get back on track! You will not feel like this forever.
Thirdly, this is where you offer yourself kindness and acceptance. Accepting that you are feeling off, giving yourself grace for experiencing all the feelings, or not doing what you feel like you "should" be doing. Try telling yourself, "It's ok that I am feeling sad right now. I have the right to rest."
Fourth, listen to what it is that you need. If you need to rest, rest. If you need to stop, stop. If you need not do the dishes, don't. If you need to go for a walk, walk. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to chill out on the couch, chill. If you need to clean, clean. Ask yourself, "what do I need right now"? and Listen. This is your intuition telling you how to take care of yourself.
Lastly, respecting what you need is self-care. Do not judge yourself or feel guilty for having emotions or not doing what you think you "should" be doing. Sitting around making that mental to-do list you don't want to do, is only compounding your distress and suffering. Things will get done in time. You can delegate chores, communicate your needs, and ask for help.
Give yourself love and grace as you experience and work through difficult times. Take it from someone with lots of experience managing whatever comes my way. I know I am not alone, and neither are you. I am here to help.
May you love yourself. May you be well. May you be at ease.
~Kristina